When the Penis Does the Picking


*sigh* “Millionaire Matchmaker” never ceases to piss me the hell off. Week after week either Patti or one of her stupid clients is so over the top ignorant and/or offensive that I watch the whole thing in DISGUST. Yet I watch, cuz that’s just what I do.

I am exactly four minutes into this week’s episode, and I had to pause the damned thing to vent about it because I find some people to be so utterly ridiculous that I just HAVE to say something and nobody is up at this hour so here I am. How handy dandy is this blog?

There’s a former NFL player on the show this week. Looking for “love”. He’s black. Said he hasn’t been in a relationship for about two years; and that his last girlfriend dumped him because his team lost the Superbowl. *blankstare* I mean seriously, is it that fucking serious to leave your FIANCE because his team lost a ball game?? He was going on about women leaving once a man can’t do anything for them and wanting a “soccer mom” type for his six year old daughter. I was feeling a bit sorry for this sad sack UNTIL the end of his interview when he made SURE to squeeze in that he is “attracted to white women and latino women” then grins all stupid and says “Patti help a brother out”. (He said brothER and not brothA. Fucking moron).

Now before anyone starts to think that I’m some bitter black woman who eye rolls and neck rolls every time she sees a black man with an “other”, that aint me. I don’t care about people dating outside of their race because that’s their business. We cannot help who we fall in love with, or at least that’s what “they” say anyway. So do you boo! Get yo swirl on. HOWEVER! The problem I DO have is with people that insist on excluding people of their own race when it comes to dating. And I’m sorry, it’s usually black men who do this. (Sue me for saying it but u won’t get a damn thing. U can also protest and argue if you’d like but that won’t get u much either). Again, black men have the right to date other than black women but they don’t have a right to dog us out in the process. I will get to that at a later date I’m sure. The point I want to make tonight is these men are so adamant about NOT being with a black woman, that they will accept all kinds of shit from women of other races just because they’re not black. He stated he’s attracted to white and hispanic women but didn’t specify any other characteristics or qualities. So it can just be any ol’ white/latin girl? It doesn’t matter how she looks or acts? How her character or personality is? None of that. All that matters is her race. (And white/latin girls yall should be hella offended. Don’t feel like a prize girlfriend because he aint lookin at YOU for who you are, he just cares about how you fill out your census form & is hoping his kids come out “exotical” with that “grease and water” hair, but I digress). He’s letting his penis do the picking! (I wouldn’t want a penis picking me! But that’s just me!)

My question to Sad Sack and to some others is: How is that working out for you BROTHER??

Seriously. I’m willing to wager that Sad Sack’s post-Superbowl dumping ex is an “other”. Clearly by her actions she is shallow and an utter pig of a human being but that doesn’t deter him from wanting another “other” because here he is begging Patti for one. Now! What gets me angry and has me looking perplexed is the fact that if his ex had been a black woman, he’d swear all of us are gold digging evil-doers and would never have anything to do with any of us ever again. Despite the fact that we look like his damn mama and can use his comb! I’m also willing to wager that he already has this “black women are gold digging, evil and troublesome” mentality in the first place but he may or may not have had a bad experience with one to make him feel that way. In all likelihood, he hasn’t even given us a chance or he gave ONE a chance, she blew it and he gave the hell up.

Now here he is on national TV looking pitiful (and tore up b/c his hair looks like it was styled with pit bull teeth) and begging for a woman, but still has the nerve to be excluding women of his own race. Incredible! But I’m not surprised. I see it all the time. On this show and in real life. Men (and A LOT) of women do not pick who/what is good for them, they pick what they think is going to FEEL good to them. Just last week this fluffy millionairess decided she’d rather buy a younger boy toy who CLEARLY wasn’t interested in her and SAID he wasn’t attracted to her than to pick a nice average looking Joe who was ready for a commitment and seemed like he would have treated her right. She goes with the toy who asked her to back his business on their first meeting. Then proceeds to tell her he isn’t attracted to her but gives her permission to buy him things like a sports car and a motorcycle. And she AGREED! Happily! While feeling him up under the table and exclaiming that she wanted to have sex with him. Guess what? It didn’t work out and the silly bitch is still alone. Go figure.

I think people get in their own way when they have these “types” that they go for or they are so exclusionary and specific that nobody could possibly ever fit the list of requirements they have. It’s even worse when people let their penis do the picking for them. Just because somebody looks like they would feel good, doesn’t mean that they are good for you. Grown people shouldn’t be so damned shallow and then wonder why things constantly don’t go in their favor. They don’t THINK! The one thing that I like about Patti is that she tells people the truth and she tells them to be realistic in what they want. If a person is looking to settle down and have a family, then they probably shouldn’t go for the club hopper 20years younger than they are. But they do. Consistently. It makes no sense to figure out what you want and then go about getting it in the wrong way. UGH! I’m not saying people shouldn’t have standards or preferences, I’m just saying to take a deeper look at what it is you SAY you want and if your actions back it up. Once a person sees a pattern of failure with how they choose a mate, then they need to re-evaluate and base their choices on something deeper than race and the size of naughty bits.

OK I just had to get that off my chest. I guess my mind is clear enough now to go ahead and watch this moron inevitably pick the wrong chick and then look shocked and amazed when it goes to shit.

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About What Looks Like Crazie...

What looks like CRAZIE, is just me. A perfectly flawed circus of contradictions: misanthropic people person; brilliant underachiever; ambitious slacker; tender-hearted bitch; thoughtful mean girl; prudish freak; crazed sanity; bold insecurity; adorable hot mess.
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3 Responses to When the Penis Does the Picking

  1. LMAO! LMAO! He picked the blond that he didn’t even like over a darker (haired) something or other ethnic chick and Blondie Googled him & asked why he didn’t pay his child support. LOVES IT!!!!

  2. MsK says:

    First, the title of this post alone made me giggle like a schoolgirl!!! You are a fool! To each his own, as far as love goes. But, it kills me when Black men (especailly athletes and actors) seem to down their own when they are choosing an other. That makes me sick. What’s funny is the ones who are constantly picking the “other” are usually the ones who look like the bottom of ya shoe who wanna be picky. Anywho, I dont watch Patti because her voice irks me :/ And, I have issue with her being this matchmaker and she cannot snag herself a match. That’s like the blind leading the blind.

  3. And it’s not even just the race thing either. Too many people, again mostly men, pick mates based on the most superficial crap imaginable. It amazes me how a woman can make herself PERFECTLY clear that she is not interested or attracted to a dude, that he is NEVER going to hit, but she will tolerate him as long as he is buying her things or doing something for her. And the guy goes along with it just to be in the company of some hot T&A.

    Or the raggedy chick with no goals and no morals but 50-11 kids and poor hygiene. As long as she’s got a phat ass some men will hang in there and ignore the drama and the stench. Then get her pregnant (b/c their penis not only picks their woman but also their method of contraception too) & AFTER the baby (or babies) it finally dawns on them that this chick is dumb, can’t keep a house, can’t cook, is a horrible mother, is a horrible person, doesn’t care about him, and is after him for his money. And that “donk” she had is now dragging on the ground behind her. Good job. I don’t feel sorry for their asses ONE BIT!

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