Let me start off by saying (for those who don’t know), I am indeed black. So, I feel entitled to spew such hypocritical hyperbole. Cuz that’s just what we do! Now, I’ll tell you why I’m madd, son!
Black people make me sick because we can be THE most judgemental, hypocritical , and fickle assholes on the face of the Earth. Let me list many examples to support such a bold and inflammatory statement. I’ll start with the petty shit first and work my way up to the stuff that’s really blowing my mind today.
Why in the hell is it OK for us to call grown people “white girl/boy” but let “them” say “black girl/boy” and ALL HELL WILL BREAK LOOSE?? Why is it OK for black comedians to go IN on white (and some “other”) folks in their audiences, exploiting racial stereotypes for laughs, but if a white comedian does it, they’re racist? The exception to that rule is comedians who are “down” with the black community; meaning they “act” black, date black, know the lingo and the culture. Those people automatically get a pass. But only if they’re “cool”. If they’re wack as hell (Vanilla Ice), they’re called “wiggers”.
I’m going to stop with my “why?” questions right now to expand and expound on this “acting black” crap & all that it entails. How does someone “act black”? I know 100s of black people and they all behave differently and have different personalities. OK go ahead and argue that there are things that are just inherent to the black community & there are certain traits that we all share. I’m going to agree to a certain extent but I’m only granting the sliiiiiiightest bit of leeway for that weak argument because not all black people grow up the same, nor do we all have the same culture. I’d dare to argue that black Americans don’t even HAVE a particular culture. We have a rich history in this country but no particular culture to speak of. So that being said, how can someone “act black”? And why do black people make this ignorant statement when they are usually referring to a white person who speaks poor english (ebonics if you will), listens to rap (not even hip-hop, but rap), and are caricatures of negative stereotypes usually associated with the black race? We’d get angry if someone attributed this behavior directly to us, but it’s OK to say that white people with these characteristics are “acting black”. Hmmm.
My sister had a party once and most of the people there were black. There was a group of white people there because one of the white “girls” was dating one of the black “dudes/guys/anything but boy”. All night long I heard these white people use the n-word like it was NOTHING; and the black people there accepted it, laughing and joking with them all night. I thought it was ignorant as hell, on both parts, but said nothing. Then something came up while we were playing a card game and I said something about not trusting white people. Cuz I don’t. And I didn’t trust those particular white people because they were cheating and why in the HELL would I trust someone who thinks it’s cool to sit in a black person’s house and insult their intelligence? Whether or not the black people were dumb enough to tolerate and accept it. Later on, I found out that my sister was embarrassed and angry about what I said. She even snitched to our Granny who questioned me about it. Word? It’s OK for them to call us niggas all night long but I can’t say I don’t trust their asses? What kinda foolishness is that???
Another thing I am sick of are the ”light skin vs dark skin” and “natural vs relaxed” debates. People are ON MY DAMN NERVES with their ignorant and judgemental attitudes. We are QUICK to label someone as a self-hating wanna-be if they relax their hair or wear some colored contacts. Maybe they just like straight hair and blue eyes. All the lye and dye in the WORLD is not going to make them white. They can’t fool nodamnbody so just let them do what they do. I have chosen to wear my hair in it’s natural state and in doing so, I did quite a bit of research on how to take care of my hair. I’m so glad I’ve learned so I can stop going on these natural hair sites with the Nappy Nazis condemning everyone to hell if they don’t “do natural” in the way they deem is the correct way. It’s all so stupid and petty. I love my hair. I’m an admitted product junkie and I spend some time (and some money) figuring things out about my hair; but I cannot let it control my life. It’s just hair! I concern myself with MY hair. A lovely curly ‘fro named Mandie who has become quite the project and I’m having fun with her. I don’t give a damn what the next person does to their hair, and that’s how the world should go!
People have actually said to me that the only reason I went natural is because I have “good hair” and that if my hair was kinky, I’d probably still be relaxing. To that, I have no answer because this is the hair that was given to me and I have no experience with any other type of hair to know how I’d feel about it. Even so, the argument is weak and based in ignorance so I ignore it.
People’s ignorant comments to me brings me to my next issue with my people. The “light skin vs dark skin” bullshit. Recently, a hair product company called Mixed Chicks (whose website says the following of their product line: ”Finally, a curl-defining system for “us”. Whether you’re black, white, asian, latin, mediterranean, or any glorious combination of the above, you’ll love the way these non-sticky, lightweight products leave your hair inviting to touch as they define and lock moisture into every curl. Be a proud part of our multiracial movement…”MIXED CHICKS” your curls! And yes, it works on weaves”) made a comment on Twitter promoting their products and used the hash tag #teamlightskin. This hash tag refers to some Twitter madness after Columbus, OH party promoters started advertising a “Lightskin vs Darkskin” bash, supposedly as a result of #teamlightskin and #teamdarkskin trending on Twitter. Well, after the #teamlightskin tag, ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE on the Mixed Chicks ladies whose company name hasn’t been well received by some in the first place. Folks claim they’re exclusionary and declare they won’t buy their products because they’re made for a certain demographic. Well what about “African Pride” products? Or “Black and Sassy”? Should those companies be boycotted for “promoting” products for a certain demographic as well?
That will never happen because we are supposed to assume that anything “african” is positive. We are supposed to embrace it and be “black and proud”. Well why can’t the lightskinned folks be proud as well? I have seen DOZENS of t-shirts that say things like “Pretty Because I’m a Brown-skinned Girl”, “Brown Skin Lady” and the like. Why is that OK but a person shouldn’t be proud to be “yella” or “redbone” or “lightskin”? Hell Beyonce can’t even say she’s creole without folks raising a ruckus! Why is it OK for women to swoon and drool over Idris Elba and his dark chocolate skin while snickering and declaring that “light skin brothas are out of style”? Why is it a problem if a woman prefers El DeBarge and Al B. Sure! ? Or if a man prefers Halle to Gabrielle, why must he automatically be self-loathing?
I am WELL aware of the skin and hair issues that were used for centuries to divide our people, but when do WE put a stop to it? I’ve had to check myself on this in recent months too; but not how you might think. I was in love with all things dark and dismissive of lightskinned folks. I have never been involved with a lightskinned man and have never liked the way they look. I always said if I ever had children, I’d never want them to be lightskinned & while giving birth, I’d like the doctor to think I was leaking oil lol (I have a ridiculous sense of humor). I had to ask myself why that isn’t just as “ignorant” as someone who says they want lightskinned children with “good hair”? I would actually get upset when people called me light-skinned. For one, it’s not true; and secondly, I hate the fact that they say it like it’s OK to tease me about it or expect me to be flattered by it.
A male friend of mine who is very dark LOVES to tease me about my complexion. One day, I asked him how he would feel if I started calling him all types of “black so & so”. I told him that I KNOW he must have been called some of those names at some point in his life and to think about how it made him feel. He STILL didn’t get it. Why? Because in his mind, being called a black this and that is derogatory, but being called light isn’t. Now how fucked up is that? Nevermind the fact that I’m NOT light skinned, I should feel flattered that people think of me that way. That’s some bullshit if ever there was bullshit.
I’ve got a couple of other points to make about why black people make me sick, but I’m tired of talking about this stupid shit right now. I’ll be back later (probably tomorrow) to discuss how fickle we are and maybe some other stuff if some black person manages to piss me off before I return. I’ll holla!